Successful Marriages Have All Of The Following Characteristics Except – What makes a couple happy? What makes them successful? What makes it healthy? Specifically, people in healthy marriages live longer, have fewer strokes and heart attacks, less mental illness, better cancer prognosis and survival rates, and the list goes on (Perelli-Harris, B., Hoherz, S., Addo, F., Lappegard , T., Evans, A., Sassler, S. and Stirk, M., 2018). Still unsold, married people have tax and retirement benefits, lower shared expenses (eg health insurance, groceries, homeowner/renter insurance, etc.) and a better credit score.
However, a healthy marriage is also hard work. They are rewarding, but admittedly, it takes a lot of patience, commitment, persistence, communication, forgiveness, and maintenance. It can be even more difficult if our parents are not the best role models for a healthy marriage. Although love is very important, a long and faithful marriage requires more than love. So what are the other components of a successful and healthy marriage?
Successful Marriages Have All Of The Following Characteristics Except
You are responsible for managing your emotions. This means you need to be aware of how you feel and the intensity of those feelings. When one or two people’s emotions are too high or out of control, healthy or fair fighting is impossible. Why do we tend to do or say bad things when our emotions are overwhelming? You cross physical or emotional boundaries, which is problematic for a number of reasons.
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Know what you feel and your emotional temperature. If you’re really hot, let your partner know that it’s important to you and that you’ll get back to it when it’s convenient for both of you. Tell them that your feelings are overwhelming and getting out of control. So you need to cool it first.
You’ve probably heard it a million times, but communication skills, or the lack thereof, can make or break any relationship, especially a marriage. Problems will arise in your marriage, which is a healthy sign. People without marital problems are dishonest with themselves or others and/or suppress some of their needs. Therefore, the absence of problems in marriage is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. However, if listening is difficult in your relationship, take the time to listen by reading this article or identify some common communication barriers. Maybe you’ve reached out, but you’re still not getting your needs met. If you want to know why, read this powerful article.
Remember to talk for 5 to 15 minutes every day. Life can be busy, but make time for your relationship and make it a priority. This means really listening to and consulting each other. Ask if each of you feels heard and understood. For more information, read How to Communicate Effectively in Your Relationship. If you want something a little more in-depth, consider the $19 communication workshop, because everyone benefits.
Boundaries are what physically and emotionally separate you from others. It allows you to have feelings, needs, thoughts, ideas, values and interests. It’s what makes you…you. Boundaries are rules for how you respect yourself and others. This is something you can do to protect yourself. They are the spoken and unspoken rules, expectations and boundaries of engagement. It allows you to stand out, stand out and create your own personality.
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Why is this important to your marriage? Boundaries allow you to identify needs or unmet needs. This will let you know if your partner has validated your feelings or hurt them. Having healthy boundaries in a marriage is about how it works, how you are loved and supported, what makes you work, and more. such as having a guide on
Each person in a marriage has, or should have, an individual identity in order to thrive and prosper individually and as a partnership. Your relationship will improve if your partner respects your boundaries. When your partner crosses a line, he tells you that you need to talk and work together.
Take some time to think about whether there is anger or resentment in your marriage. If so, it’s a sign that your boundaries are being violated, or that you’re overextending yourself when you have a chance to relax. Read this in-depth review on setting boundaries.
Struggle is not a problem. This is actually a sign of health in a relationship. What really matters is the WAY we fight. How to fight includes all these steps to prove divorce; but the ability to be intentional about how each conflict arises and how to navigate it is critical.
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Remember: you and your partner are not the problem or the enemy. It is behavior that causes trouble or problems between two people. Again, when you see behavior that’s annoying and gets under your skin, remember that it’s behavior, not me as a person. When we attack a person, it is never appropriate or respectful. We cross the line and come back sick. Instead, try this: “I feel really alone and neglected when I ask for help, but I feel like you’re not responding by helping me.
When you and your partner aren’t fighting, take time to talk, ask, and listen to how you’re struggling. Be open and receptive. What can be improved? How can each of you cope so that you feel safe and healthy? If apologizing is difficult, learn some helpful tips on how to do it right.
Note his reaction to this statement. “What’s wrong with you? You have a temper.” Now here’s how it sounds: “I confuse and hurt myself when I yell.” It also increases defense, which is unlikely to produce a positive combat response. The second uses an i-statement, describes the problem behavior and does not label the person and allows the recipient to own the feeling it creates.
According to Gottman couples, marriage experts and researchers have found that criticism, contempt, defensiveness and rejection increase the likelihood of divorce. When we come together to describe a problematic situation or behavior, it allows for change. It is much more difficult to change someone’s fixed personality than flexible behavior. Allows growth.
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Remember to use statements I describe the behavior as problematic, not the person. We meet to solve a problem. Find solutions to overcome the problem.
Repairing may be the most important thing you can do, but it’s often difficult for people to do well. It means you go back into the relationship to check on the other person. You show them you care…no matter what. Show that each of you can put aside your differences, apologize in word or deed, and work on your own or together to be different in your marriage.
Renovation is not a quick excuse. It takes time due to relationship breakdowns or breakdowns (eg infidelity, arguments, etc.). This means it could take weeks, months, or even years. Repair is a reliable restoration, it just takes time. This does not mean that the other person (the victim) has to punish the other person (the perpetrator), but allows for physical or emotional space to grieve and heal. However, it’s important to be open about the process and be vulnerable with each other. Be patient. Show love, be kind
The key here is that a sincere apology means you have to really empathize with your partner. I will describe the steps below.
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“I understand that such a sensitive topic should be approached more sensitively. I’m so sorry!”
“I am so sorry for hurting you with my words. That’s the last thing I want to do. I try to be careful how I talk to you.”
“I know we had a really big fight and it looks like we’re done. However, I would like to register. What do you think of us?’
It’s about a deep decision to be true, honest and committed to your vows, your relationship and above all yourself. It is an action or commitment to yourself. Because you respect yourself and care deeply for others. However, if you are struggling with attachment, seek therapy for yourself and your loved ones. Invest in yourself, your marriage, and your relationship. If you’re struggling with commitment despite all these efforts, be honest, real, and make tough decisions to honor yourself, your partner, and everyone involved.
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Ask yourself, am I truly committed to my marriage? What obstacles are preventing my marriage from succeeding? Consider how to protect your marriage by making decisions to honor and protect your commitment. It can also be helpful to share and talk about it with your partner.
Be game. Have you ever heard of the saying “who plays together, stays together”? Having fun with each other is probably one of the reasons you hang out and get to know each other. like adults
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